swarmnovacoil (swarmnovacoil) wrote,
swarmnovacoil
swarmnovacoil

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Random Day it is!

I have to apologize to me, for not being able to keep my daily schedule recently, but I promise, we'll get back on track, Seth! :D Starting today! :)

So thursday is here dubbed random day, wherein I can post anything I want.. as long as I just post something. For today, because 'twas half of the day was fun, and half of it I was stressed on the verge of tears, there are just somethings I wondered about.

Embarrassment. Yep. I'm not sure if I rarely encounter this particular emotion, but I do rarely encounter really traumatizing degrees of embarrassment.. (but for other people, it's nothing.) Anyway, today's encounter was my stupidly walking into a mirror thinking it was a hallway (I think I actually tried walking into it twice..) and even mistaking my reflection as another person.. saying 'ay excuse me' and bumping my head on the mirror. Yeah, talk about stupidity.

I'm not sure still what I'm still afraid of.. Maybe I just don't want people to laugh at me. I surely don't want to be laughed at.. I am pretty certain I'd cry, and if I do, I'd just get more embarrassed, and cry some more, and get more embarrassed some more... and I wouldn't know how to face people after that. I've had a lot of experiences with that during my elementary (even pouring into highschool) days.. and I definitely don't want to experience that again..

Another thing that stressed me.. people not listening to me. I'm always very shocked when I say something then it just gets overlapped by someone else's words or the topic just changes without any reaction on what I said.. I'm a very good listener (at least I think so) simply because I don't want my words to be ignored either.. but they still seem to be.. maybe it is also the reason why I'm not someone who just goes out and says what's on my mind.. I always make sure that it would be interesting to the listener (but sometimes it does fail..) I just hate it when what I say is ignored.. it hurts a bit..

Ah anyway.. I just got distracted with all these Arashi quizzes in facebook.. so I'll just leave this as is..

*clicks Post to swarmnovacoil*
Tags: deep thoughts, random, rants
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